She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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