it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
