I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
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