but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
COCAINE IS GR8
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
