Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
