the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
