Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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