The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
