I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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