Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
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