if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Dick very happy bro
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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