just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
