awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
