we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
