belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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