it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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