Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
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the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
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Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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