Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
