uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I need a beard to bite.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize