just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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