Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
