dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She bit a glass in half.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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