So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
