she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
