guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
