I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize