I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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