theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
