she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
