Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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