I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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