He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Drake has all the answers
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
