I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
