I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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