laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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