Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
