At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
