I bet he comes in French.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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