I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
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the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
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One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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