he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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