Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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