so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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