I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
