Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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