It's like God shit irony all over that family
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
