Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
