you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Randomize
