I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
