I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
