Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize