And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
sex in a hospital.. check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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