its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
