Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
