if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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