You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
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You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
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It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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