ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
