playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
