There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
