every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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