I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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