dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
