listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
