Duck Duck Cougar?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
